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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940786">I Don't Know What I'm Supposed To Do, Haunted By The Ghost Of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatDcruz23/pseuds/CatDcruz23'>CatDcruz23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatDcruz23/pseuds/CatDcruz23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for part 2 ending. </p>
<p>When you leave you take the air with you and I'm left waiting...wondering if I will ever be able to breath again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dina &amp; Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>383</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Don't Know What I'm Supposed To Do, Haunted By The Ghost Of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone thanks for giving this story a look. Its an ending that I couldn't get out of my head the second I finished the final mission.</p>
<p>Spoilers ahead! </p>
<p>Please enjoy love forever and always.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dina stood on the porch, arms wrapped around herself, watching and waiting…maybe hoping to see a familiar body walk towards the fence. She watched for one more moment before turning back to the house, stepping inside and putting her hair into a bun, just as she began to get started on the house work a cry from upstairs grabbed her attention. Dina turned and went up the stairs to the little man wailing for her. </p>
<p>“Hey little goober” She lifted JJ into her arms and pressed kissed to his head, he instantly calmed in her arms. “Wanna help mama get some house work done?” </p>
<p>There was three quick knocks on her front door, pulling her away from JJ. “Dina, you home?” Maria…Dina let out a sigh and kissed her son once more before heading downstairs. </p>
<p>“Hey Maria” Dina offered a smile as she opened the door, stepping aside and letting the older woman in. </p>
<p>“Hi dear and hello to you too” Maria leaned in and placed a small kiss on the baby’s head. “Got a second?” Maria nodded to the dinner table. </p>
<p>“Yeah” Dina followed and took a seat across from the blond. </p>
<p>“I know we’ve had this conversation a few times but what do you think about moving back to town?” Dina let out a sigh as she shifted the boy on her lap. </p>
<p>“Maria-“</p>
<p>“No look I know, okay I know but it’s been months and I hate that you’re out here on your own” </p>
<p>“I’m fine” The young woman’s tone was sharp. “Look I really appreciate you looking out for me but I just can’t…she never wanted to-I just can’t” </p>
<p>“Okay” Maria knew when to drop it; she took a moment to look Dina over. The dark circles under her eyes, her thin frame, and the exhaustion clear on her face. “Are you sleeping?” </p>
<p>“As much as I can” She knew it was avoiding a true answer. </p>
<p>“I’ve been in your shoes, Dina” Maria leaned forward on the table, clasping her hands. “Waiting for the person I love to come home, not knowing if they were-not knowing” </p>
<p>“Is there anything else?” Dina asked with a tight smile, pushing herself up. “I really have to get started on some stuff.’ This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have. </p>
<p>“Uh no” Maria stood up as well. “I just wanted to check on you guys and see if you needed anything” </p>
<p>“We are doing well” Dina used her free hand to gesture around the kitchen. “Thanks, Maria” </p>
<p>“Of course, if you ever change your mind” Maria left the conversation hang. </p>
<p>Dina walked her out before starting some lunch for her son.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Dina had just finished taking a bath and was doing a quick check on JJ, she could watch him sleep all day it was one of the few things that brought her peace. She walked over to her closet and pulled it open; she pulled clothes aside trying to choose which shirt to wear. Her fingers drifted across a familiar green flannel shirt, she heisted for a small moment before pulling the item out and bringing it to her face taking a deep inhale. Her scent still lingered on the material and it brought tears to Dina’s eyes, she very rarely wore this shirt in fear that her own scent would take over. Today was one of the days that she needed the familiar feeling to surround her; she put it on and buttoned the first few. The shirt was big on her so she left the bottom unbuttoned and tied the ends, leaving her midsection slightly exposed.<p>She looked out the window and saw that she was losing light and she still needed to hang up the laundry clothes, she quickly made her way to the back. She let her mind drift as she hung the laundry, let it drift to a time when strong arms would wrap around her as she did this and soft lips would work their way down her neck. Back to when a voice would sing softly in her ear, when she would feel something more than heartache. </p>
<p>Suddenly music filled the air from inside the house and Dina felt her heart stop, she turned to face the house as the shirt in her hands slipped to the ground. She had left her son alone and someone was in the house, Dina took off running back inside. Just as she rounded the kitchen to the stairs she saw a backpack leaning against the front door, a backpack she knew all too well. Dina’s heartbeat picked up and she took the stairs two at a time, as she reached the top her eyes snapped to the right, to the door she never opened. When she saw it was still closed she rushed to her bedroom, her body coming to a sudden halt at the sight. </p>
<p>Standing in the room with her back facing the door way, holding JJ in her arms, was Ellie. She looked thinner than Dina ever remembered her being, but there she stood alive and holding JJ. The baby reached over Ellie’s shoulder, but the smile on his face was one that Dina missed seeing, it was one only Ellie brought out of him. Ellie turned and smiled at Dina, her heartbeat picked up even more and Dina feared it may break out of her chest. The two locked eyes and despite the smile on her face, Dina saw the pain swimming in those green eyes.  </p>
<p>When Dina didn’t smile back Ellie’s own smile faltered, she placed a small kiss on JJ’s hair as she took a small step closer to the brunette. “Dina-“ </p>
<p>“You need to-“ Dina held her hand up and stepped back, causing Ellie to stop moving. Dina looked at her for a moment longer, needing to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming before she turned and headed back downstairs in a rush. </p>
<p>Ellie quickly kissed the boy once more and placed him back in the crib before racing to catch up to Dina, as she got to the stairs she saw Dina standing at the front door with her back facing the stairs. Ellie quickly moved down the steps and as she hit the bottom, Dina spun around and delivered a hard slap causing Ellie’s head to snap to the right. She put a hand over her cheek and looked at Dina with shock; Dina had the same look of shock not believing she had just done that. </p>
<p>“I’m-“ Dina covered her mouth to stop the sob that almost broke through, but her tears could not be stopped. “You leave for months leaving me to think you’re dead or God knows what else! Then you come back here like nothing ever happened?!” </p>
<p>“D” Ellie took a step closer, hand dropping from her cheek. </p>
<p>“You don’t get to just come back to our lives like you didn’t walk away from us!” The sobs finally broke through her chest; she was having the breakdown she fought so hard against. “How dare you?!” </p>
<p>Ellie threw caution to the wind and wrapped Dina in her arms, holding her tighter when the smaller woman tried to break free. “I’m so sorry, Dina, I am so sorry” Ellie whispered as Dina continued to breakdown, her hands folded in and clung to Ellie’s shirt for a moment. </p>
<p>Suddenly with full force Dina pushed her back. “Fuck your sorry and fuck you” Dina hissed out. </p>
<p>“I didn’t mean-“ Ellie shrugged not knowing how to finish her sentence. “I just needed to see you” </p>
<p>Silence filled the air, Dina didn’t know if Ellie wanted her to respond but she didn’t have a response. She simple looked Ellie over, for the first time noticing her missing fingers but the bracelet she gave her still wrapped around her wrist and her heart cracked at the sight. When Ellie tilted her head Dina offered her a shrug, not knowing what she wanted. </p>
<p>“If you want me to leave-“ </p>
<p>“Oh now you want to do what I want?” The words cut through Ellie like sharp blades. “You don’t give a shit about what I want” Dina pushed through Ellie and moved back up the stairs, stopping for a moment before speaking once more. “Food’s on the table, you look like you need it” Ellie heard the care in the words but the tone never changed. </p>
<p>Ellie watched her leave before heading to the table and taking a seat.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie wasn’t sure how much time passed when Dina came back down again, but she looked much calmer though the anger was still in her brown eyes…the same eyes that used to make Ellie feel like everything was going to be okay. For the first time the taller girl realized Dina was wearing her shirt and it made her want to kiss her senseless.<p>“Are you going to stay?” Dina crossed her arms, making sure to keep her distance from Ellie. </p>
<p>“Only if you want me to” Ellie all but whispered out. </p>
<p>Dina eyed her for a moment before letting out a sigh and moving her eyes away. “I can fill the bath tub if you want to wash up and you can have your study” </p>
<p>“Ba-“She quickly cut herself off. “Dina, you don’t need to do that” </p>
<p>“Okay then fill the bath tub yourself, I assume you remember where to get everything?” Dina raised an eyebrow, Ellie nodded. Dina walked out the backdoor.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie had to admit the bath had made her feel more relaxed then she felt in months or maybe it was being in the same house with Dina and their little potato. Could she still call JJ hers? She hoped so because she loved that little boy like he was hers and Joel had showed her years ago you didn’t need to be blood to love someone that much.<p>After re-dressing Ellie walked out of the bathroom and saw Dina making her way towards her at the same time. Dina stopped a good distance away, some sheets and a pillow in her hands. </p>
<p>“There’s no bed, but when you first left Maria came to stay for a bit and she moved a cot in there” Dina held the bed items out to Ellie, who took it with a grateful smile. </p>
<p>“Thanks” Dina just nodded before heading back to her room and closing the door. </p>
<p>Ellie turned to the door in front of her room and took a breath her bag had been placed on the ground outside the door, she lifted it over her shoulder; she pushed the door open and felt tears hit her eyes. The first thing she saw was the guitar sitting in the corner; she stepped inside and closed the door. She took in the room and closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself imagine this was a better time and Dina was waiting for her to come to bed. When she opened her eyes she was forced to face reality once more, she quickly got ready for bed.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie was startled awake by crying, at first she had to remind herself where she was and that she was not in danger, she sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She looked out the window and saw that it was still dark, either it was very late or very early. The crying continued and so Ellie rolled off the cot and made her way out of the room.<p>Dina’s door was cracked open and she could hear Dina talking to JJ. Ellie almost hesitated but mumbled ‘fuck it’ and moved to the door slowly pushing it open. Dina glanced at her before putting her attention back to JJ. </p>
<p>“Come on, buddy” She rocked him back and forth. “Help mama out” </p>
<p>“Want me to try?” Dina only stared at her, continuing her rocking motion. “I can sing to him, it used to always work” </p>
<p>For a second Ellie thought Dina was going to say no and she would simply have to accept it, but she nodded and Ellie felt her heart thud in her chest. She stepped into the room and closer to the pair. She took JJ into her arms and he slotted perfectly, she missed having his little weight in her arms. </p>
<p>“Shhh” She kisses his head and took him to look out the window. “It’s okay, I’ve got you” She started her own rocking motion. </p>
<p>Dina took a seat on the bed, exhaustion taking over. She dropped her head as she listened to Ellie talk to JJ, it almost felt like old times…almost. </p>
<p>“If I ever were to lose you, I’d surly lose myself” Ellie began to slowly sing, fighting her own tears that the song always brought. </p>
<p>Dina felt her heart clench, she knew the story behind that song and made her want to sob but she held back. Soon enough JJ was asleep and Ellie slowly put him back down, pulling the small blanket over him. She turned to see Dina had her head down, she moved to sit beside her, leaving as much room between them as she could on the bed. </p>
<p>“When I came back I didn’t…didn’t think you would actually be home” Ellie spoke but Dina never looked up. “I mean I hoped you would be but I thought you would be packed up and back in Jackson” </p>
<p>“Maria asked me to go back a million times” Dina glanced to her right, seeing Ellie playing with her hands and feeling her heart crack again at the new bite mark. “I just couldn’t do it” Dina finally looked up and the two locked eyes once more before she finally asked the question that had been brewing since she saw Ellie. “Did you find her?” </p>
<p>“Yeah” Ellie nodded. </p>
<p>“Did you do it?” Dina watched Ellie clear her throat and look away, her gaze focusing on the small body in the crib. </p>
<p>“Uh no” She shook her head. “I-I couldn’t” </p>
<p>Dina didn’t ask anything further and Ellie was glad, not ready to open that door yet. When Dina broke the silence again Ellie didn’t know if this question was harder than anything related to Abby. </p>
<p>“You once told me that you didn’t want to lose me” Ellie forced her eyes back to Dina to find Dina still watching her. “Then you just let me go, let us go. How was it that easy for you?” </p>
<p>Ellie looked at her former lover like she grew three heads. “What?” Dina just fixed her with a look. “You think it was easy for me to leave? Dina, it killed me…every single day that I spent out there all I thought about was you guys” </p>
<p>“You were out that door like it was nothing” Dina shook her head with a humorless laugh. “You were going to leave without even saying anything, I just happened to wake up” </p>
<p>“I couldn’t face you” Ellie admitted. </p>
<p>“Wow” Dina shot to her feet, crossing her arms. </p>
<p>“I knew you wouldn’t understand-“ </p>
<p>“Oh fuck you, Ellie” Dina wanted to yell but kept her voice leveled. “How would you know? You didn’t talk to me” </p>
<p>“I tried to explain it to you” Ellie stayed seated, not up for the fight that was coming. </p>
<p>“No, you told me what you were going to do” Silence and tension filled the room. “Your mind was made up long before I got downstairs” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” Ellie shrugged. </p>
<p>“So you’ve said” Dina turned away and blinked away the tears that wanted to fall. “And now you’re back” </p>
<p>Ellie got up and stood behind Dina. “And I’m not going anywhere; I want to be here with you and JJ”</p>
<p>“For how long?” Dina turned back around, there wasn’t much space between the two of them and Dina didn’t make a move to create anymore. “You said the same thing to me when you asked me to move here. ‘Let’s move to that farm, D’ ‘We’ll have our own little family life’ ‘Let’s build a life together, babe’” Ellie remembered those conversations well. “Then you decided that she was more important than our family” </p>
<p>“That’s not fair, Dina” The pain in Ellie’s voice cracked Dina’s heart, but not enough for her to stop. </p>
<p>“None of this is fair” Dina took a step back, letting more space come between them. “You want to know why I’m still here? Because no matter how much I wanted to go the biggest part of me knew that you never wanted to go back there and I kept thinking that if you were alive and you came back that you would be walking into an empty home” Dina finally let her tears fall. “I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t leave you” A small laugh escaped her lips. “I was so pissed at myself because it was so easy for you to walk out on us and I couldn’t even leave the memory of you behind” </p>
<p>“Stop, stop saying it was easy for me” Ellie let her own tears fall, but she rushed forward and closed the gap between them. Her hands falling on Dina’s hips, the shorter woman’s hands falling on Ellie’s wrist to push her away. “I missed you both so much, I needed to do it…I needed to or I was never going to be whole for you” </p>
<p>“Don’t” Dina pushed at her hands till Ellie let go and took a step away. “Don’t act like you did this for me” </p>
<p>JJ letting out a small noise from the crib caught both of their attention; Dina went over and ran a finger over his hair at the same time taking the moment to regain her composer. </p>
<p>“D-“ </p>
<p>“Night, Ellie” Ellie watched her back for a moment before heading to the bedroom door. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you didn’t leave” Ellie spoke from the doorway, Dina looked over her shoulder. “The only thing that kept me going for all those months was coming home to both of you” </p>
<p>Ellie closed the door and Dina let out a breath, she took a seat back on the bed and let her sobs break free, she covered her mouth to try and suppress the noise but it did very little. She had no idea that Ellie was on the other side listening to her breakdown, her own tears falling and her own heart aching. Ellie wanted to hold Dina and take this pain away but she knew she couldn’t and it killed her.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Dina had stepped out of the bathroom and could hear music; a small smile graced her face, when Ellie left Dina struggled to listen to music. Looking into her room she saw that JJ wasn’t there but his sounds of laughter could be heard downstairs, he must have woken up while she took a bath. Dina descended the stairs and leaned against the living room wall, Ellie stood in the middle of the room dancing with the small boy in her arms.<p>“Oh look who’s here” Ellie said as she turned to see Dina. “Mama’s here”</p>
<p>“Hi” Dina cooed, smiling and waving at the little boy who gurgled with excitement. </p>
<p>“Hope it’s okay that I brought him down, I heard he was awake” Ellie moved slightly closed to the dark haired woman. </p>
<p>“Of course” Dina let JJ hold her finger.  “Are you having fun with Mom?” She whispered to her son, not seeing the look of shock cross Ellie’s face. </p>
<p>“Dina” The two locked eyes and Ellie felt the words stuck in her chest, before she could say anything else she caught something over Dina’s shoulder. </p>
<p>Dina turned to look at what Ellie was focused on and saw Maria riding in with Tommy, Dina turned back. “Do they know you’re back?” </p>
<p>“Uh no, I came straight here” Ellie felt a nervousness take over, how was she going to explain her choice to Tommy. </p>
<p>“Okay, um can you take him upstairs?” Ellie gave her a nod and made her wait to the stairs. “Do you want them to know?” </p>
<p>Ellie thought about it for a moment, she could just hide away but she knew that wasn’t the way to deal with this. “Yeah” Dina gave her a nod. </p>
<p>Just as Dina heard Ellie’s footsteps in her bedroom there was a knock on her door, she took a deep breath at the thought of facing Tommy. The two of them have not been okay since Ellie left; she swung the door open and smiled at Maria. </p>
<p>“Hey” She looked over Maria’s shoulder and watched Tommy slowly make his way up the steps. </p>
<p>“Hey Dina” Maria walked in before glancing over at Tommy. “He, uh, he really wanted to see JJ” </p>
<p>Tommy offered Dina a small smile when he reached the door, one that she did not return when she smelled whiskey on his breath. She waited for the two to get seated, glancing up the stairs once before turning her focus back on them. </p>
<p>“Where is the little man?” Tommy’s voice held a small slur which caused Dina to shoot a look at Maria, who gave her a small shake o the head. </p>
<p>“Upstairs” </p>
<p>“Oh is he sleeping?” Maria asked with a frown, knowing that by now Dina always had him on her hip.</p>
<p>“No, no he’s…” She trailed off for a moment. “He’s with Ellie” </p>
<p>Dina watched both Maria and Tommy sit up straighter, they shared a look of shock and Dina watched all the emotions played on their face. </p>
<p>“She’s back?” Tommy asked, looking more alive in this moment than Dina saw in months. “That mean she found Abby? Did she kill that bitch?” </p>
<p>“Stop!” Dina’s voice was sharp and her eyes hard. “You will not push her again, Tommy” Her tone left no room for argument. “If she wants to talk about it then she will, but you will not force her. Do I make myself clear?” </p>
<p>“Crystal” She watched his eyes look at the stairs and knew that Ellie was coming down the stairs. </p>
<p>“My God, Ellie” Maria pushed herself up and rushed to Ellie, wrapping her arms around her. “It’s good to see you kid” </p>
<p>“Yeah you too” Ellie gave her a smile when they pulled back. “Tommy” Ellie gave him a nod. </p>
<p>“Ellie” His stare made her a bit uncomfortable; she shared a look with Dina before clearing her throat. </p>
<p>“How have you two been?” Ellie tried to make some conversation. </p>
<p>“Not bad-“ Maria started but Tommy cut her off.</p>
<p>“Did you do it?” Ellie froze and Dina felt anger flare through her. </p>
<p>“Damn it, Tommy” The smaller woman moved to rush forward but Ellie grabbed her arm and held her back. “What the fuck did I just say to you?” </p>
<p>“Dina, it’s okay” Ellie whispered. </p>
<p>Dina spun around to face Ellie. “You do not have to talk about this; you don’t owe him anymore than you have given” </p>
<p>“I know” Dina nodded before stepping beside Ellie again, Ellie slowly letting go of her arm. Ellie looked at Tommy and took a moment to wonder how she was going to say this, but decided to be honest. “No I didn’t” </p>
<p>“What?!” Tommy pushed himself up, holding the table to keep stable. “Because you didn’t find her?” </p>
<p>“No I found her” Ellie nodded. “But I didn’t kill her, I let her go” </p>
<p>“Let her go?!” Tommy’s free hand became a fist. </p>
<p>From the corner of her eyes Ellie caught Dina moving forward again, she reached out with her arm to stop her and moved her body in front. Keeping Dina behind her and Tommy in front, no matter how angry Tommy got she knew he would never hurt her. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I let her walk away” Ellie nodded. </p>
<p>“Are you fucking kidding?” Tommy looked at the others in the room waiting for the punch line. “After Joel, after this?”! He pointed to his head. “You let her walk away?” </p>
<p>“You weren’t out there with me; you didn’t see what I saw” </p>
<p>“It don’t matter! She took everything from you” Tommy couldn’t believe what he was hearing; this had to be another dream. </p>
<p>“No” Ellie looked over her shoulder at Dina for a moment before turning back to Tommy. “Not everything” </p>
<p>“Jesus, Ellie” He shook his head in disgust. </p>
<p>“You asked me if I would be okay with her living back at the theater and I wasn’t but you accepted it” Tommy couldn’t argue that. “Now I’m okay with her living and you don’t have to accept it or like it” Ellie shrugged. “But if you want to do something about it then you go out there, you find her and you end it!” Ellie’s breathing began rising, she felt Dina step slightly closer. “I am done with this, it’s over” </p>
<p>Tommy had no words he looked around once more before throwing Ellie one more disgusted look and after a beat spat at her feet. It took Ellie by shock she almost didn’t catch Dina when she flew past her at Tommy, Ellie wrapped her right arm around the smaller woman’s waist and walked backwards pulling Dina with her. She made sure to wrap her left arm around her too, as Dina fought against the hold all while yelling at Tommy.</p>
<p>“Get the fuck out, you are not welcome here do you hear me!” Dina yelled as Tommy walked out of the house. “Don’t fucking come back!” Once the door shut she turned to Maria. “Don’t ever come back here with him or I swear to God I will never let you back into this house” With that she pushed at Ellie’s arms to get free, turning and rushing up the stairs. </p>
<p>Once the bedroom door slammed shut Ellie looked over at Maria, who had been quiet the whole time. “He was drunk, right?” </p>
<p>“Yeah” Maria nodded. “He hasn’t been okay since…well you know” </p>
<p>“Are you two back together?” Ellie remember Tommy saying they were taking time apart. </p>
<p>“No, he just really wanted to see JJ and I’m the only one who can deal with his drunk ass” They let out a small chuckle. “Dina and he don’t get along anymore, so he doesn’t come here alone” Ellie had caught that much. </p>
<p>The younger woman glanced out the window at Tommy, she watched him for a moment. “I never wanted to do wrong by him, I did make him a promise but I just couldn’t follow through” </p>
<p>“Ellie, are you happy with the choice you made?” </p>
<p>“I’m at peace with it” Maria smiled at that. </p>
<p>“That’s what matters” She pointed in Tommy’s direction. “Don’t focus on him, you have a second chance to fix what you lost” With that she looked up at the ceiling and Ellie followed, small smile on her own face. </p>
<p>“I don’t know, Maria, I think I really fucked up here”  </p>
<p>“Did you see how that girl reacted to Tommy?” Ellie had to laugh at that. “Dina loves you, she’s hurt, but she never stopped loving you. This can be fixed” </p>
<p>“Thanks” Ellie walked her to the front door. </p>
<p>“Kid” Maria put her hand on the screen door before turning to Ellie. “Joel would be so proud of you” With that she left. </p>
<p>Ellie closed the front door a smile on her face, she hoped Joel was proud. She watched Maria and Tommy ride out before heading upstairs to Dina and JJ; she knocked before pushing the door open. Dina was lying on her side on the bed with JJ, watching him play with a frown on her face. </p>
<p>“You okay?” Ellie moved further into the room and leaned against the crib. </p>
<p>“I should be asking you that” Dina didn’t move her eyes from JJ. </p>
<p>“Maria said you two don’t get along anymore” Dina didn’t entertain her with an answer, Ellie didn’t need one. “You know it’s not his fault that I left” </p>
<p>Dina let out a deep sigh. “It’s not that I think he pushed you out the door but it’s the words he used that night” She pushed herself into a seated position. “He knew how guilty you felt about Joel, and Jesse and him, he grabbed that knife in your heart and he twisted as hard as he could. I can’t forgive him for that and just now he tried to plunge that same knife deeper, I wasn’t just going to stand there and watch him do it” </p>
<p>“Thank you for that” Ellie gave her a small smile. </p>
<p>Dina stood up bringing JJ with her. “I am so, so pissed with you, Ellie, but I won’t let anyone treat you like that” Maybe Maria was right, maybe she could still fix this. “I’m going to take him for a walk” Dina moved towards the door.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>By the time Dina got back she was surprised to see Ellie had cooked and lunch was on the table, the door closing caught Ellie’s attention over the music playing in the house.<p>“You cooked” She shifted the boy in her arms as she raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“Yeah hope that’s okay?” Ellie threw the dish town on her shoulder on to a counter. </p>
<p>“Sure, thanks” JJ began reaching for Ellie and so Dina moved closer to pass him over. “Oh you want mom, huh?” She teased as she gave him to Ellie. </p>
<p>Ellie had the same look of shock cross her face once more, this time Dina caught it and raised an eyebrow. “It’s the second time you’ve done that?” </p>
<p>“Done what?” </p>
<p>“Called me his mom” Dina rolled her eyes at that. </p>
<p>“Ellie-“ </p>
<p>“Not that I’m against it, D, I just thought that-I don’t know” Ellie broke their eye contact and shrugged. </p>
<p>‘This little boy loves you more than I could ever put into words” There was a small break in Dina’s voice. “When you left there were nights that no matter what I did he wouldn’t calm down, so I would wrap him in one of your shirts and he would smell you and relax” The words knocked the wind out of Ellie, if she didn’t have JJ in her arms she may have collapsed to her knees. “He’s your son”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Night had fallen over them faster than they realized, JJ had been given a bath by Ellie and put to bed while Dina cleaned up around the house. Ellie made her way back downstairs with a bottle of whisky she found on her travels and the guitar she hadn’t touched since being back. She placed the guitar on the couch and made her way into the kitchen to find Dina.<p>“Almost done?” Ellie leaned against the counter, hiding the drink for now.</p>
<p>“Uh yeah” Dina glanced her way before continuing with the last few dishes. “Why?”</p>
<p>“Wanna have a drink with me?” Ellie lifted the bottle with a smile. </p>
<p>“Fuck yeah” Dina breath out causing them both to laugh. “But uh I don’t know”</p>
<p>Ellie’s smile faltered. “Come on its just one drink, JJ is asleep” Ellie watched Dina wipe her hands as she contemplated what to do. “I’m not asking for anything, I just want to have a drink with you” </p>
<p>“Okay sure” Dina had to smile at the light that came to green eyes. </p>
<p>“Awesome” Ellie grabbed two glasses and headed back to the living room; she poured three fingers into each glass and sat them down on the coffee table. </p>
<p>While waiting for Dina to finish in the kitchen, she reached for the records and put a soft tune on; an album by Lord Huron started playing. She picked up her guitar as she took a seat on the end of couch, leaving as much space as she could for Dina. Slowly Ellie set her fingers up to play, with a heavy heart she knew it would never be the same again. She lightly began to strum but when some notes fell flat she stopped, it was like she could feel the fingers pressing on the strings but they weren’t.</p>
<p>“Don’t ever stop playing” Ellie’s head snapped up, she didn’t know Dina was watching. </p>
<p>“It doesn’t sound the same” Dina shrugged, moving further into the room and taking a seat. </p>
<p>“No maybe not, but it still sounds like something…Joel wouldn’t want you to stop” </p>
<p>“I’ll try” With that she placed the guitar on the ground, leaning it against the armrest. Ellie reached for the drinks on the table, passing one to Dina. “Cheers?” </p>
<p>“What are we toasting to?” Dina reached for the drink, their fingers brushing together. </p>
<p>“To…”Ellie hesitated, trying to find the courage for what she wanted to say. “To making up for mistakes” </p>
<p>“To you being alive” Dina whispered and clinked her glass to Ellie’s. The first sip sent a burn down her chest that felt amazing. “Fuck that’s good’ </p>
<p>Ellie didn’t miss that Dina didn’t acknowledge what she said but chose to let it go. “So while I was away I stumbled upon all these flowers all over Santa Barba, I wish you were there you would have lost your shit” </p>
<p>Dina chuckled. “Yeah that sounds like me” The younger woman watched Ellie take a long sip before finally choosing to share. “About a month ago JJ was having a lot of trouble sleeping so I took him outside with me and fireflies came out” A look of bliss crossed Dina’s face as she lightly shook her head. “Actual fireflies” Ellie had to laugh at that, once having voiced the same thing. “He was so happy, it was so beautiful and I wished so hard that you were sitting with us”  </p>
<p>Ellie so badly wished she was there too; she will be there the next time JJ sees them. She will not put them through this again, it was a promise she made to herself and when that chance came she would swear it to Dina too. The tune in the room changed and Ellie smiled, Dina let out a hum and her body began to lightly rock. <br/>“God I love this song” Dina let her eyes slip close as she took the music in. </p>
<p> The start of Night We Met filled the room. Ellie watched her for a moment longer before downing her drink and standing up, causing Dian’s eyes to open. Ellie moved to stand in front of Dina and held her hand out, to which she received a raised eyebrow. </p>
<p>“Dance with me?” Ellie nudged to the open space. </p>
<p>“What?” It was condescending she just really didn’t believe what Ellie asked. </p>
<p>“When are you ever going to hear me ask that again?” They both laughed, it was true. “Dance with me…it doesn’t have to mean anything” </p>
<p>Dina downed her own drink and shook her head, taking Ellie’s hand as she stood up. “It will always mean something with you, Ellie” </p>
<p>Ellie remained quiet as she wrapped her left arm around Dina’s waist and laced their fingers together with her right hand; Dian’s own arm going around Ellie’s back and clutching onto her shoulder. The shorter woman ducked her head, fearing what she would do if she looked into Ellie’s eyes for too long. Ellie began to sway and Dina followed, suddenly it felt so easy to be in her arms again and slowly Dina felt her body relax further into the strong body in front of her. As the song lyrics filled the room she began to feel emotional, she buried her face in Ellie’s neck and the tears started to slide down her eyes. Ellie felt the wetness hit her neck and didn’t hesitate to hold her love closer, she put her chin on the top of Dina’s head and let her cry silently.</p>
<p>“It was so hard when you left” Dina confessed, her body shaking with sobs. “I didn’t know how to function without you” Ellie felt her own tears build up, she couldn’t stop herself from placing a small kiss on the head under her. “I missed you so much” </p>
<p>“I missed you too, Dina” Ellie pushed the words through a closed throat. “So fucking much” </p>
<p>“I don’t know if I can do this again, Ellie” At those words Ellie pulled back, making Dina raise her head. </p>
<p>“Do what?” Fear laced her voice. </p>
<p>“Open my heart to you again and then have to watch you walk away” </p>
<p>Ellie dropped Dina’s hand to wrap both arms around her waist, without thought Dian’s free hand went around Ellie’s neck. “I am not going anywhere, Dina” </p>
<p>“How do I know that?” Dina’s voice was filled with pain. </p>
<p>“Because I’m making a promise to you right now” Ellie leaned down to connect their foreheads. “I am never going to leave you again”</p>
<p>Dina pulled back from their connection to see if there was a lie in those green eyes, when she found none she le more tears fall. Ellie began to lean down, eyes never leaving Dina’s, just as their lips were about to touch Dina turned her face away and Ellie stopped just short of kissing her cheek. Instead she leaned her forehead against the temple now facing her. </p>
<p>“I can’t” Dina slid her arms from around Ellie and stepped back. “I’m not ready for that” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” The taller woman stuffed her hands and kept her head down. </p>
<p>“You can’t just kiss me and make it all better.” Anger was easy and Dina leaned into it. </p>
<p>“I know” She truly did but she had been too caught up in those beautiful brown eyes. </p>
<p>  “How do I know one day you’re not going to want to go after her again?” Ellie knew that she had broken a piece of Dina that night, but in this moment she realized she may have shattered it. </p>
<p>“I’m at peace with it, Dina” Ellie finally looked up. “I don’t care about her anymore; all I want now is to fix us” </p>
<p>“How do I know though?” Dina strained for the third time. </p>
<p>“I was consumed okay?” Ellie stepped closer. “With vengeance, anger, guilt, grief…and I thought that if I could end her that maybe I could stop feeling all those things” She shook her head. “I was wrong, so fucking wrong. Being her with you and JJ, that brings me peace not the blood of one more person on my hands” </p>
<p>“I don’t know what you want from me?” Dina whispered out through a tight throat, Ellie’s words impacting her. </p>
<p>“I just want a chance to fix us” It sounded so simple, why couldn’t it be that simple? “I just want a chance” </p>
<p>Silence took over the room, the song fading out in the background. Dina and Ellie simply looking at one another, tears falling down both their cheeks and pain lingering in both their eyes. </p>
<p>“It’s going to be a lot of work from both of us” Ellie nodded at Dina’s words. “It won’t be easy” </p>
<p>“Nothing with us ever is” The pair shared a small laugh at that. </p>
<p>“You hut me so much when you left” Dina’s gaze shifted to the kitchen, seeing the ghost of Ellie walking out. “It’s going to take time for me to forgive you” </p>
<p>“I have all the time in the world” </p>
<p>“Cheesy” Dina mumbled, taking Ellie by shock and pulling a laugh out of her. Dina threw her a smirk that she hadn’t seen since she came back. “I’m going to head to bed” </p>
<p>Dina turned to head upstairs. “Dina?” Dina stopped looking over her shoulder. “I love you, I really do. That night you asked me to prove it and I couldn’t but I will…forever”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>3 weeks had gone by and life wasn’t normal but they pair were beginning to fall into a rhythm again, managing to take care of JJ and the farm together. Ellie didn’t try to hide her affection for Dina but made sure to give the girl her space, she could tell that Dina was holding back and she didn’t want to push her. There would be moments where Dina’s eyes would linger or she would be in Ellie’s space. They still had not shared a kiss but there were hugs, there were nights spent talking rather than just rushing to a room. They would spend some afternoons with JJ together, when there wasn’t much to do on the farm, they would play with him and in those moments Dina felt like it was old times.<p>They still had not talked about what Ellie did when she found Abby and why she let her go, Dina was going to let Ellie do that when she wanted. Dina found herself comparing the before and now a lot and she couldn’t deny that Ellie looked more at peace now. She could still hear Ellie waking up in terror from nightmares and on a handful of night she would have to go and wake her up but she didn’t have as many moments while awake. Ellie looked like she could be happy again and it made Dina’s heart melt. </p>
<p>The two of them and JJ were sitting on the porch, Ellie and Dina shoulder to should and JJ sitting in Ellie’s arms. </p>
<p>“I gotta head into town tomorrow I think” Dina spoke absently, her fingers playing with JJ’s toes. </p>
<p>Why?” Ellie lifted her left arm and put it over the bench, Dina slid closer into the space given. </p>
<p>“We’re running out of some shit” The sound of a horse galloping pulled their attention. “What the fuck?” Dina couldn’t believe who she saw opening their gate. </p>
<p>“Well he’s brave I’ll give him that” Ellie was a bit shocked too. “If you had screamed at me like that I don’t think I would have come back” </p>
<p>That got her an elbow to the ribs. “Bad joke” </p>
<p>“Sorry” They both watched as Tommy road up to them. </p>
<p>“Ladies” He gingerly got off his horse, he didn’t stumble so hopefully he was sober. </p>
<p>“Pretty sure I told you to never fucking come back” Dina spoke with a leveled voice, eyes hard and unforgiving. </p>
<p>“Yes you did” Tommy didn’t make a move to climb the porch. “And please don’t shoot me but I wanted to apologize” </p>
<p>Ellie and Dina shared a look before Dina took JJ into her arms; Ellie removed her arm from the bench and stood. She moved to stand at the railing, holding on to it and peering down at Tommy. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry doesn’t seem enough” Tommy started. “I said some fucked up things to you…now and then. It wasn’t right of me; I was so blinded by rage all I wanted was for her to suffer” </p>
<p>“Tommy I get it” Ellie shrugged. “For a long time it’s all I wanted too, and I know I made a promise-“ </p>
<p>“A promise that I never should have pressured you to keep” Tommy shifted to put more weight on his good leg. “I knew I couldn’t go after her but I knew you could and I said anything to get you to do it. I am so sorry, I will never forgive myself for how I acted and I don’t have an excuse” <br/>“Tommy-“ </p>
<p>“Don’t make one up or me, kid” He let out a gruff laugh. “I want to make it up to you, both of you. I will work to get better, I’m trying to stop drinking…I will rectify this” </p>
<p>“I don’t doubt you” Ellie threw him a smile. </p>
<p>“Dina?” Ellie stepped to the side so Tommy could speak to her. “I know we’ve not been on the best of terms, I want to work on that’ </p>
<p>“Work on getting better, Tommy, then we’ll work on getting this better” She gestured between them. </p>
<p>“Suppose that is something” He nodded with a smile. “I best get going” </p>
<p>Ellie looked over at Dina and asked her the silent question, she received a nod. “Uh do you want to stay for dinner?” </p>
<p>“I would love to but I can’t” Tommy got back on his horse with some trouble. “I really should get back to town, can we have a rain check” </p>
<p>“Of course” Dina answered. </p>
<p>“Let me walk you out” Ellie moved down the porch steps.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie was walking back to the farm, three rabbits strung over her back, rifle in hand. As she got closer she saw a cart pulling away and frowned wondering who she may have missed, she opened the gate and stepped inside, Dina was standing at the porch. It looked as if she was about to go back in but spotted Ellie and stopped.<p>“Hey, get anything good!” Dina called from the porch. </p>
<p>Instead of yelling back Ellie simply lifted the string of rabbits, she received some cheers for the effort. “Thank you, thank you” She said once she got closer, once she got up the porch Dina took the rabbits from her. “Who was here?” </p>
<p>“Jesse’s parents” Dinna opened the door and they walked in. “They came by to visit and wanted to take JJ for a couple of days” </p>
<p>“JJ’s not here?” Ellie stopped in her tracks with sadness seeping in. </p>
<p>“Uh yeah” Dina turned to her. “Sorry I know you would have wanted to say bye, it’s only a couple of days though and I couldn’t stall them much longer. I didn’t know when you would be back” </p>
<p>“It’s okay I just, shit I guess I just miss him already” Ellie rubbed the back of her neck. </p>
<p>“Yeah me too, life of a parent” Ellie nodded with a smile. “I also thought that maybe, um it would be good for us to spend some time together, you know just us?” </p>
<p>Ellie’s smile grew, infectious enough to have one grow on Dina’s face. “Yeah that would be great” </p>
<p>“Okay then how about you go and wash up cause you smell” Dina had to laugh at the look of shock that took over Ellie’s face. </p>
<p>“Rude!” </p>
<p>“Also the truth” Dina made a show of sniffing the air and cringing. “Can’t believe you told me I once smelled like a hot pile of garbage” </p>
<p>“Yeah but I got used to you, you can get used to this” Ellie laughed at the hard punch that was delivered to her shoulder. “I’m going, I’m going” </p>
<p>“Thank you” Dina walked backwards towards the back door. “How does rabbit stew sound?” </p>
<p>“Perfect”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie and Dina sat laughing on the dining table, plates empty and on their third drink. It was a slightly warmer night and so Ellie was clad in light sweatpants and a tank top, Dina in shorts and a tank. All night Ellie struggled not to stare at the gorgeous tanned legs, there was more flirting in the air tonight and Ellie wasn’t sure if maybe that’s why it was hotter in the house.<p>“Food was amazing, babe” Ellie said once their laughter finally calmed down, she realized the term of endearment slipped out but Dina didn’t seem to care. </p>
<p>“Mmm I’m glad you think so because it’s going to be the same thing for a few nights” Dina reached for her drink, taking a small sip since it started to hit her after the second one. </p>
<p>Ellie shrugged as she reached for both plates putting on top of the other beside her, she kept both hands on the table while reaching for her own drink with one. Dina’s eyes were pulled down to the missing fingers once more, without thinking about it she reached out and placed her hand over the knuckles of the missing digests.  Ellie simply watched the movement of Dina’s hand, there was a change in the air and Ellie knew now was the time. </p>
<p>“When I got to Santa Barba I tracked her movements” Dina glanced up but never moved her hand. “I uh I ended up getting caught in a trap made by some group in that area, I got hurt and I was stuck there for a while” Ellie felt the phantom pain in her side, remembering how she swung from that tree. “When I came to I saw two figures walking to me and I thought it was Abby so I called her name but it wasn’t, it ended up being the fuckers that set the trap up” Ellie then nodded to the bite mark near her palm. “That’s how I got the new bite too, I pissed them off and they dragged me to a Clicker they had trapped but it also got one of them killed and gave me the upper hand” </p>
<p>“Jesus, El” This was just the start of the story but it was already so much. </p>
<p>“The other guy there told me they had Abby, they had captured her and she was being kept in the building they ran. He described her perfect and said she was with a little boy that had scars on his face, suddenly she felt so close” Ellie took a moment to breath and Dina could see the story was getting hard to talk about. “I got there and ran through their group, managed to get down to the cells and…Jesus these sick fucks had captured so many people and God knows what they were doing to them, I mean when I got there a guy got out and shot himself because he didn’t want to go back…they had infected people on chains for fun”</p>
<p>“Was she in the cells?” Dina asked softly getting Ellie back on the story. </p>
<p>“No, no she wasn’t” Ellie cleared her throat, turning her hand over to squeeze Dina’s hand. “I let the people in there out and one of them told me that she had tried to escape, that the people who ran that place took her to  a something called the Pillars on the beach” Tears began to build in Ellie’s eyes. “Dian that place…fuck I will have nightmares for the rest of my life” Dina felt her own heart clench. “They had people strung up just waiting to die, either from starvation or heat stroke or a fucking infected biting them” Ellie shook her head at the memory. “They had so many people there, some dying and some dead” </p>
<p>“She was there?” </p>
<p>“It took me some time to find her and when I did, God, I didn’t recognize her” Ellie took a gulp of her drink. “She lost her muscle mass and she was like a shell of herself, she didn’t look like the woman that killed Joel or the woman that almost killed us…she just looked so scared”  Ellie’s tears began to fall as the memories played out. “She saw me but she looked right through me, I cut her down and she didn’t come at me she just went straight to the little boy and let him down. Then instead of tackling me or trying anything she just picked him up and told me to go to the boats with her. Here I was ready to fight and ready to kill and all she cared about was getting out of there” </p>
<p>Dina looked down at Ellie’s hand and knew there had to be more to this story; it didn’t just end like this. </p>
<p>“I got to the boats and I went to one and her to the other, I was going to just let it go there. When I saw her I realized I didn’t want to fight this Abby, I wanted the Abby that made me beg for the lives of two people I love and care about. She wasn’t that Abby” The next thing she was about to reveal scared her, not sure if it would break Dina and her again. “When I was putting my own stuff away I caught sight of blood on my hands and it was like that day in the barn, I saw this flash of Joel bloody and beaten because of her. This wave of anger and guilt took over and I wanted to end it, I made her fight me” </p>
<p>“Made her?” </p>
<p>“She didn’t want to fight me, she had zero intention. So I puta knife to the little boy’s neck” Dina let out a gasp. “I would have never done anything but I knew she cared about him and I needed her to fight me, it worked she came at me but it wasn’t like that night at the theater. She managed to take a bite of my fingers” Well that explained that. “In the end though I got control of her, I had her head underwater and I held her down. I had her life in my hands and I was so close to ending it, it would have been just seconds away…I could feel her grip on my arms loosening and I knew it was almost over” Ellie let out a sob and Dina moved to sit beside her. “Then I saw Joel again and it was like I could hear him in my head, telling me this wasn’t the way, that revenge doesn’t solve a fucking thing” Ellie covered her eyes with her free hand and sobbed. “She had my life in her hands twice and let me go, more importantly she had you and JJ in her hands and she let you go…All she wanted to do was save that little boy, so I let her go” </p>
<p>Suddenly she was wrapped in Dina’s arms; she continued to sob as Dina whispered in her ear. “It’s okay, it’s okay” Dina placed a sot kiss on Ellie’s forehead as she pulled back. The dark haired woman took a breath and decided it was her own time to share. </p>
<p>“I asked you to stay that night for selfish reasons” Ellie raised an eyebrow at that. “I don’t know how to breath when you’re not here, it’s like all the air in my world is just gone and every breath is a gasp. Every time you left that theater it was like you took the air with you and I would hold my breath till you got back, praying that would be back. Then you left and for months I didn’t know if I was ever going to breathe again” Dina held on to Ellie’s arms as her own tears began to fall. “You told me you loved me and I didn’t say it back, I regretted that every moment of everyday. El, I had nightmares of you dying thinking I didn’t love you, of you bleeding out somewhere wondering if I loved you and it killed me because I do love you, Ellie” The taller woman let out a chocked sob at that, hearing the words for the first time since she’s been back. “That’s why I asked you to stay because love is selfish, had it been my sister’s murders I would have done the same thing…I just didn’t want to lose you, because the thought of losing you  scares the hell out of me” </p>
<p>“I never doubted your love for me” Ellie’s eyes slipped closed as Dina leaned in to connect their foreheads. </p>
<p>“Good because I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember” Dina let her eyes close too. “When I saw you after you came back I felt so many things, fear, anger, relief…all I wanted was for you to kiss me and make love to me, I wanted you to hold me and never let go but I got so scared that if you did let go I wouldn’t survive it”</p>
<p>“I’ll never let go of you again” Ellie let her hands grip Dina’s waist. </p>
<p>“I believe you” With those words the walls Dina built broke down and Ellie slotted back into her heart. </p>
<p>Dina put her hands on Ellie’s cheeks and pulled away, she took a moment to watch Ellie’s eyes flutter open before doing what she wanted to do the second Ellie stepped foot back into the house. Dina leaned in and connected their lips for the first time in months; Ellie felt her blood hum and gripped Dina tighter. Their lips moved seamlessly together like they never missed a beat, Ellie deepened the kiss and let her tongue slipped into Dina’s mouth. Dina let out a toe curling moan and Ellie quickly pushed herself up pulling Dina with her, rushing forward until Dina’s hit the nearby wall near the stairs. </p>
<p>“Fuck” Dina mumbled when their lips parted, Ellie hands were running all over her body as her lips focused on her neck. </p>
<p>“I missed this so much” Ellie whispered into her skin. </p>
<p>Dina pulled on Ellie’s top until she was able to get it over her head, her hand going for the new skin available. Dina pulled Ellie’s lips back to hers as she ran her fingers over the toned stomach; she stopped abruptly when she felt rough scar tissue. Dina pulled back and looked down at the jagged scar on Ellie’s side; it looked like it had been bad when it happened. </p>
<p>“Jesus, Ellie” Ellie simple took Dina’s fingers and brought them to her lips, placing kisses on them. </p>
<p>“I’m fine, I’m here” With that she connected their lips once more. </p>
<p>Ellie pulled at Dina’s tank top and broke away for a brief moment to lift it over her head, connecting their lips as soon as it was out of the way. As their kiss grew more heated and the air grew thicker, Ellie decided she didn’t want this against a wall…not the first time in months at least. Her hands moved from Dina’s hips and gripped her ass, giving a firm squeeze before moving further to the back of her thighs. With very little effort Ellie hiked Dina up; the smaller girl wrapped her legs around Ellie’s waist and couldn’t stop her hips from grinding into the other woman. Ellie broke their lips to kiss down Dina’s chest, stopping at her bra. Dina ran her hands through Ellie’s hair, tugging to bring their lips together once more. </p>
<p>Ellie pushed them off the wall and began to ascend up the stairs; she held Dina to her and kept their lips fused. She turned them to the bedroom and kicked the door shut before gently tossing Dina on to the bed. Dina laid back, legs spread, shirtless and looking so damn good, Ellie didn’t waste more time and crawled up the bed kissing the legs she couldn’t stop staring at all day. Once she reached Dina’s stomach she licked up the till she hit her bra once more, as she put her lips to Dina’s neck again her hands reached behind and unhooked the bar. </p>
<p>Dina pushed Ellie back in order to sit up and toss her bra to the side, reaching for Ellie’s and almost ripping it off. She let her hands drag down Ellie’s back as she kissed her stomach, moving to the small breasts and taking a nipple into her mouth. Ellie let out a moan from the back of her throat, her one hand undoing Dina’s bun so she could bury her hand in there and the other gripping Dina’s arm. </p>
<p>“My God” Ellie groaned. “That feels amazing” </p>
<p>Dina played with the other nipple for a moment or two before she was shoved on to her back, Ellie leaned down with all intentions of paying those beautiful breasts the attention they deserved. Instead her eyes caught the scar just above Dina’s breast, she leaned down and let her lips softy graze the scar before leaning up once more and sharing a more sweet and loving kiss with Dina. This time when she leaned down she took one nipple into her warm mouth, her thumb and forefinger reaching for the other pinching and pulling. It may have been a while but Ellie still knew just how to touch her to get her body to scream. </p>
<p>“Ellie” Dina moaned her breath coming out in gasps. </p>
<p>Dina spread her legs a little more so that Ellie’s hips were slotted right between them, as Ellie continued to play with her nipples Dina began to grind her hips. </p>
<p>“You’re driving me crazy” Ellie whispered out, she began to kiss down Dina’s body again. </p>
<p>Ellie pulled on Dina’s shorts causing her to lift her hips so that Ellie could pull them down, Ellie’s breath caught when she realized Dina wasn’t wearing any underwear.</p>
<p>“Fuck Dina” Ellie leaned down and place a couple of kisses on the tan thighs. </p>
<p>Dina reached down and gripped on to Ellie’s hair, bending her legs and letting Ellie spread them even wider. Dina threw her head back the second she felt a strong lick through her folds, her grip getting tighter. Ellie smirked at the sounds she was pulling from the girl under her, leaning back down she let her tongue take another firm stroke. She felt Dina’s leg lift over her back and then the slide of a heel on her back, she placed a kiss on the quivering woman’s clit before sucking it into her mouth. </p>
<p>“Oh God, fuck” Dina twisted the sheets with her free hand, it had been so long and she was so close. “Fuck Ellie, I’m almost there, baby” </p>
<p>Ellie pulled back to lick two of her fingers, the sight making Dina clench around nothing, Ellie very easily slid two fingers into Dina. Ellie had to hold her down as her hips bucked; she let her fingers stay still and took her clit back into her mouth. Slowly she began to pump her fingers, curling them before pulling out then pumping back in. </p>
<p>“Go faster” Dina’s toes curled when her request was granted. </p>
<p>Ellie moved back up Dina’s body and kissed her as she moved faster, she used her hips to driver her fingers deeper. Dina’s legs lifted to wrap around Ellie’s body, when she felt fabric instead of skin she used her feet to push at the sweatpants. Ellie paused for a moment to help Dina push her pants down before continuing to drive her fingers in and out of Dina. </p>
<p>“Fuck Dina, you feel so good” Ellie mumbled into her ear. </p>
<p>Dina dug her nails into Ellie’s back, needing to grip on to something, when Ellie hit a particular spot that made her eyes roll back Dina dragged those nails down the pale back leaving deep red scratches. Ellie hissed but it felt so good, she moved a bit faster and bit rougher. Dina let out a familiar moan and her breath caught, she clenched on Ellie’s fingers and then she came…very hard. Ellie worked her through the orgasm with soft pumps and light kisses. </p>
<p>Once Dina was ready she began to kiss Ellie back harder, she broke the kiss to let out a shuddering breath when Ellie pulled her fingers out. Dina bit her lip and locked eyes with Ellie as she lifted the fingers to her lips and sucked, Ellie couldn’t stop her hips from grinding into Dina’s. </p>
<p>“Fuck, D” </p>
<p>Dina kissed her again and began to flip them over, she moved to straddle the taller woman and ground her hips into Ellie. She was taken by shock when Ellie sat up and kissed her hard, Dina stretched her legs out behind Ellie so she was sitting in her lap. Dina’s hands played with Ellie’s nipples and broke their kiss; she kissed down the column of Ellie’s throat. </p>
<p>“Touch me” Ellie groaned out. </p>
<p>Dina lifted her head and connected their foreheads; she slowly dragged her hand down Ellie’s stomach before grazing Ellie’s clit. </p>
<p>“Oh fuck” Dina whispered when she reached lower and was met with wetness. </p>
<p>Ellie kissed Dina hard and held her close, but she had to break the kiss when Dina slipped two fingers into her. “Dina…fuck” </p>
<p>Dina swiped her thumb over Ellie’s clit as she pumped her fingers; Ellie was already worked up from Dina so she knew she wasn’t going to last much longer. Ellie gripped Dina’s wrist and bucked her hips in time with Dina’s fingers. </p>
<p>“I want to taste you” Ellie moaned hard at the words and almost came just at that. </p>
<p>Dina shifted and pulled her fingers back, she slowly pushed Ellie to lie down. Dina moved down and moved her mouth over Ellie, her tongue sliding into Ellie while her fingers rubbed at her clit. It took a few more strokes before Ellie moaned her name out and came on Dina’s tongue. Dina moved to suck her clit and pumped her fingers into Ellie as she came down. </p>
<p>“Come here” Ellie tugged at Dina’s shoulder. </p>
<p>As soon as they were eye to eye Ellie flipped them over once more, she grabbed one of Dina’s legs and wrapped it around her as she slotted herself between Dina’s legs once more. Dina’s fingers gripped her face and pulled her down for a kiss, her free leg latched on to Ellie’s leg and ran her foot up Ellie’s calf. Ellie began to slowly rock her hips both of them gasping when their centers connected. Ellie grabbed Dina’s hands and pinned them down on the mattress, using that as leverage to grind her hips harder. </p>
<p>“Ellie” Dina moaned. “Come with me” </p>
<p>Ellie dropped her face into Dina’s neck and nodded, placing kisses there and sucking on her pulse point. Dina tightened her legs around Ellie, her hips meeting Ellie move for move. Ellie let go of Dina’s right hand and pushed her hand under Dina’s head, gripping the dark hair tightly as she grew closer and closer to the edge. Dina let her free hand run down Ellie’s back and grip her ass, pushing her hips down faster and harder. </p>
<p>“I-I” Ellie tried to explain but words escaped her. </p>
<p>“Me too” Dina nodded even though Ellie couldn’t see her. </p>
<p>It didn’t take much more before they both flew over the edge, Ellie let go of Dina’s other hand and let her body collapse on top of Dina.  Dina hummed in contentment as she ran her fingers over Ellie’s damp hair, her body was the most relaxed it had been in a very long time. She turned her head and placed a few kisses on Ellie’s temple. </p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” Dina received a kiss on her scar as response. “Mm wanna give me a verbal answer, baby?” </p>
<p>Ellie chuckled and lifted her head. “I feel amazing” She brushed their lips together. “I missed that” </p>
<p>“Which part?” Ellie laughed again. </p>
<p>“Well I missed all of that” She wiggled her eyebrow. “But I missed you calling me ‘baby’, always makes my heart rush” </p>
<p>“You’re so fucking cheesy” Dina laughed as she kissed Ellie over and over. The words were cheesy but it made Dina warm and fuzzy…it made her own heart rush.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>Ellie was lying on her side, her head propped up by her hand, her eyes focused on Dina’s back as the woman slept on her stomach. Dina had a large scar running from the middle of her back to her left hip, a scar that wasn’t there before Ellie left. Without thinking her finger trailed the scars path lightly, she couldn’t help but feel her heart break at the thought of what Dina went through.<p>“I was out hunting” Ellie almost jumped at Dina’s voice, thinking she had been asleep. “Some hunters had left a barbed wire trap and I fell into it, they dragged me out and that was the scar was the worst of it” Dina opened her eyes and gave Ellie a lazy smile. “I fought them off and lucky for me Maria was here to stich me up” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you” Ellie whispered, her hand falling flat on Dina’s back. </p>
<p>“Stop” Dina reached for Ellie’s arm and pulled till Ellie was pressed against her. “No more apologizing, just hold me and get some sleep” Dina’s eyes fell closed once more. </p>
<p>Ellie smiled and leaned in to press a kiss to the scar, she threw her arm over Dina and let her own eyes close. It didn’t take long for her to sleep, it was always easy when Dina was beside her.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_</p>
</div>A few days later Ellie was sitting on the porch steps watching the sunset, she was thinking about Joel and how he would probably be sitting with her too singing and strumming. She knew she needed to go to Jackson one of these days to pay the old man a visit; he traveled the country for her so the least she could do was go back to the town they once called home.<p>Ellie was pulled from her thoughts when the screen door was pushed open, glancing over her shoulder she saw Dina walking out with JJ in her arms. Right away a sense of calm and peace fell over Ellie; it was scary how easily they could make her darkest mood bright. Dina took a seat beside Ellie and leaned against her shoulder, JJ almost asleep stayed very calm in her arms. Ellie reached over and he automatically took her finger into his whole hand. </p>
<p>“Are you okay” She heard Dina ask. </p>
<p>“Yeah” Ellie nodded. “I’m perfect” </p>
<p>Dina lifted her head and the two shared a smile, leaning in Dina place a deep but brief kiss on Ellie’s lips. Ellie smiled a moment more before turning back to the sunset; Dina continued to watch her before whispered in her ear. “I love you” </p>
<p>Ellie turned back to Dina just as the girl leaned back on her shoulder. “I love you too” </p>
<p>This was a life she once gave up, a life she once thought she didn’t deserve. She knows better now, she deserved to be happy like Joel always told her and for maybe the first time in years she was truly happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments are much appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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